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How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

12.06.2025 13:51

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

By taking turns talking.

By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.

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By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”

By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.

My girlfriend told me that she wants to move in with me. I have my own apartment and I like my peace and quiet, but I also love her. We've been together for a year now. What should I do?

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.